Picture this scene: you see a cute girl across the bar or restaurant, and you’d like to get to know her. Perhaps there’s a woman who’s a friend of a friend, and you’re both at the same party. Maybe you are on a first date with someone you hope will become someone special.
Whatever the scenario, you know you want to get to know this girl better, and get her attention. However, there’s a fine line between “flirting playfully” and just being creepy, so do be careful in how you approach her!
Here’s 6 advices to take if you don’t want to be seen as a creep when approaching a girl:
Don’t Invade Her Personal Space
One of the first rule of contact, especially when you don’t know each other well, is to not invade someone’s personal space.
If you’ve just met someone or have only briefly talked to them, the best distance to maintain is around 100 to 120cm. Read her body language for cues – if she crosses her arms or backs away, take a step back yourself and continue talking from a distance that makes her feel comfortable.
Leave if She Seems Uncomfortable or Doesn’t Respond Much
Sometimes, it isn’t about space. If she is giving you short answers, or seems to be looking for a way to escape the conversation without giving you her contact number, make a gracious exit instead of prolonging talking to her. Chances are, she will just keep feeling uncomfortable if you do.
Find someone who’s genuinely interested to get to know you better instead.
Don’t Stare at Her Too Much
She may be gorgeous or super attractive to you. However, do take note on how much you find yourself staring at her, and on where you’re staring as well.
Generally, keeping your gaze above her shoulders is the polite thing to do, but don’t look too intensely at one spot, or she will start to feel annoyed or embarrassed. Alternate your gaze by looking around your environment before bringing your gaze back to her.
Don’t Talk about Sensitive Issues – Prepare Safe Conversation Topics Instead
One of the common mistakes people make is to bring up topics that should really be saved down the road. If you’ve only just met someone, don’t bring up sensitive topics that will immediately be a turn-off.
These topics include your religious and political beliefs, dirty talk, your romantic past, and so on. Instead, try safe conversation topics that are universal, such as asking about her favourite movie, a country she’d love to travel to, a concert she’d like to go to, and etcetera.
This is not to say you can’t talk about issues close to your heart – you can save the more sensitive topics for when you’ve built up a bond that goes beyond strangers or acquaintances.
Leave Your Number for Her to Text/ Call if She’s Unwilling to Give Hers
You want to get her number, but when you ask, she seems a bit hesitant to give it. To avoid her having to feel uncomfortable about it, you can offer to give her your phone number instead.
Ask her to get in touch with you if she wants to, and let the conversation about exchanging phone numbers end there. Chances are, she will be impressed that you are gentlemanly enough to not force her into giving her phone number. Speaking of which…
Don’t Be Pushy
… in your interaction with her, try not to be pushy. Whether it is your opinion, your tone, your requests, or your body language, be careful that you are not being overly assertive.
Instead, make sure you give her space to freely interact with you, without feeling like she HAS to continue talking to you, or to agree with you. This way, the chances of you keeping in contact afterwards will be higher… and you will seem less “creepy” as well.