So. Your boyfriend or girlfriend dumped you – the one that you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. The one who knew everything about you.
Is he happier without you? Is she together with someone else?
You struggle to get use to a new routine without your ex. You feel bitter, angry, depressed, and heartbroken, but that is no way to live life. Life is meant to be enjoyed fully.
All these thoughts will only stop you from finding the right one too, as any Date Coach will tell you.
So, what should you do to move on from your hearbreak? Well, here are 5 steps to help you move on from that heart-wrenching breakup:
1. Write a Letter to Your Ex
Stop talking and thinking about your ex. Instead, start writing! When you start to write down your thoughts, your brain is able to process your thoughts better and give you greater clarity.
Here is what you need to do: write down all the terrible or good things that you want to say to your ex. All your feelings, your thoughts, your questions, the hurt, or even how much you missed them.
No one will judge you for this letter, because you won’t actually be sending it – it’s just to get your thoughts off your chest.
2. Write a Letter Back to Yourself, Signing Off as Your Ex
In this next letter, write everything you wish to hear from your ex. Whether it’s his explanations for the breakup or her apologies for it, write anything that you would want to hear from your ex right now.
However, do keep in mind one MAJOR exception you shouldn’t write – don’t ever write about wanting to get back together with yourself.
The point of this letter is to say goodbye, not to enhance your desire of getting back in a relationship with your ex. Write down everything that would help you to feel better, and hopefully, stop that feeling of missing your ex.
3. Read the Letters Every Day
By reading the same letters of what you want to say to your ex and what you want your ex to say to you, you will be able to organise your thoughts more and more each day.
As the saying goes, “time heals”. Keep reading those letters, and one day, you will wake up and find that the emotional void you had been feeling is gone. You will be able to read the letters without tearing up, and feel at peace.
4. Find Role Models Who Have Handled Breaking Up in a Dignified and Calm Way, and Emulate Them
Since the beginning of time, there are many people who have broken up, and there will be many more who will in the future.
They will share this in common – surviving their breakup and coming out stronger.
Find someone whom you can look up to, and follow what they did to get over their own breakup. This role model can be anyone, from your friend, your colleague, to a celebrity you admire, and etc.
For instance, remember the time when Kate Middleton broke up with Prince William? She went on with her daily activities, and was photographed doing activities like rowing and having fun instead of moping at home. This helped her get over her breakup faster.
5. Treat Yourself Well
When you are in a relationship, you often end up compromising on what you want. You might sometimes put your needs on the back seat, and even neglect self-care.
Now that you are single, do the things you’ve always wanted to do for yourself without worrying if a certain someone will like it or not.
Go for a massage, do a solo trip, swim in the ocean, get a makeover, and whatever else that will make you happy. Relax and most importantly, have fun!
Break ups are terrible, but they are common in the world of love. Those who have been through it will tell you that time will heal all wounds.
If you find it difficult to go through your breakup by yourself, or if you don’t really want your family and friends to worry about you, feel free to talk to a date coach here. They will always be willing to help.