“Love is friendship set on fire.” – Jeremy Taylor
Attraction is a wonderful thing. However, like the saying above indicates, the best type of romantic relationship is actually built on great friendship. To find a truly genuine love, the simplest step to take is to expand your social circles.
“Dating is a numbers game,” Violet Lim, CEO of dating company Lunch Actually, says. “You have to put yourself out there, because your perfect partner will not just drop from the sky!”
Yet, as you get older, it can get harder to make new friends after graduating from school. You may find at least one or two new close friends in your colleagues, but not everyone is this lucky in their chosen career.
You may find yourself wondering:
“If it’s so hard to make new friends now, how will I find romance as a working adult?”
Luckily, there are many solutions to this question – it all just depends on making the effort to do so. Here are SEVEN things you can do to make friends easily in your 20s and above:
1) Take Up a New Class (with a Higher Ratio of the Opposite Gender)
There is always something new to learn no matter how old you are, and the good thing is, there are plenty of classes available for adults these days!
Consider joining a class that is likely to have more of the opposite gender joining. For example, a cooking class will usually be filled with more women, while a computer coding class would have more men.
With classes usually held on a consistent basis, it is likely that you will also get to make friends with your classmates soon enough.
And the fact that you’re learning a new skill along the way – is very attractive too!
2) Take Up New Hobbies That Makes You Go Out
Running, cycling, hiking, calligraphy, coffee-roasting, photography…
Perhaps one of the above hobbies appeal to you. Perhaps there’s always something you wanted to try out but never got around to doing it. If you’re waiting for a sign, well…
Here it is!
Try out a new hobby, or get back into one that interests you. Learn to appreciate how smart, brave, and adventurous you are as you get better at your hobby, and get some new friends who will share that appreciation too.
Start by asking your friends who are active in those hobbies to let you join them – you’ll never know who you’ll meet!
3) Commit to Going on at least One Date a Month
You may be wondering how going on a date has anything to do with friendship.
Well, as mentioned earlier, all great romantic relationships have a foundation of stable friendship. Even if it does not blossom into a romance – and you shouldn’t put such heavy expectations on a first date anyway – you may find yourself a great friend instead.
Even if you are not that attracted to a person’s dating profile, or the friend of a friend who wants to set you both up, there is no harm in going out for at least one date. You’ll never know if this date will introduce you to The One, too.
4) Participate in Events
Events are some of the best ways to meet people. One of the simplest conversation starters in an event will, of course, be about the event itself.
Whether it’s a small-scale event specifically to get to know other people (singles’ events) or a large-scale one dedicated to a particular interest (such as an obstacle course or a fun race), just sign yourself up when you come across one.
Not only will it give you a reason to get out of the house, these events are also a gateway to getting to know new friends too.
5) Ask Your Friends to Introduce You to Their Other Friends
Perhaps the simplest way to get to know new friends is to know your friends’ friends.
We all have different social circles from each stage in life, i.e. high school, college, work, family, and so on. Perhaps your work friend has a childhood friend who would get along well with you too.
It’s not common for people to hang out outside of their pre-determined social circle, however. Therefore, don’t force your way in – do ask if your friends are comfortable bringing you into their other different social circles first.
If they are, great! Go ahead and make new friends, and hopefully it’ll lead to closer friendships, and maybe even something special.
6) Say Yes to (Almost) Every Outing
It may feel like there is nothing better than going home to your bed after the end of a long work day. However, it’s hard to make new friends at home.
You don’t have to be a social butterfly and go out every day, but think twice first before declining someone’s invitation to go out to dinner or an outing to a new place. Being in each other’s presence is how you build up friendship bonds, and of course, make friends!
7) Join an Online Community
Last on this list, but not least, is the option to join an online community. There are plenty of Facebook groups to join, ranging from fishing enthusiasts, book clubs, to travel lovers.
While the frequency of meeting in real life may differ for each different group, there is a high chance that these online communities will organise meet-ups to bring their passions into real life as well. That is when you make friends with the people you truly click with.
Try out any of the 7 solutions above, and you may find yourself with several new circles of friends all made in your 20s soon enough. The good thing about these solutions are that they can be used for anybody of any age too, so do give them a go to expand your social circles now!